Fail.

My plan was to run 12 miles today. My half is in 3 weeks and I wanted to get 12 in before the big day. Even with my recent improvements at altitude, I’m not sure my body could just yet handle running 12 miles up here, especially with these hills. So, I plotted a route at the bottom of the mountain. 25 minutes and I could run at just over 1,000 ft – much more manageable. I don’t go down the hill very often, so I decided to treat myself to a movie while I was out in civilization. I packed myself a bag of clothes to change into, charged my ipod shuffle, and off I went!

I haven’t spent much time in the city down at my mountain’s foothills, so I decided to do a drive-through of the route I had mapped out for myself. It was about 1 mile into this drive-through that my stomach turned to knots. I was beginning to feel uneasy. Maybe it was the run-down appearance of the homes and businesses? Maybe it was the mile-long desolate sidewalk made of dirt? Maybe it was the 4-mile stretch of…nothing? Maybe it was the fact that the sun was going to set in an hour and I had close to 2 hours of running? – Bad planning on my part…but I was trying to beat the heat of the valley –  Whatever it was, I suddenly knew that I couldn’t run. Not there, at least. I tend to trust my gut on these things. I’ve turned around mid-solo hike because of this same feeling. It’s rare that I feel this way, so when I do, I listen.

Understandably, I was a tad upset. At $4.79/gallon, gas up and down the hill comes in at a pretty penny, especially for the unemployed. Lucky for me, I had my McDonald’s Monopoly free fries & quarter pounder with cheese pieces with me, so I stopped in at a McD’s along my intended route and got me some food. I immediately felt terrible about myself and remembered why I never actually eat at McDonald’s. It was a sad state. “oh look at that girl! Instead of running, she is sitting in her car eating a cheeseburger and fries. sad.” And it was.

But then I went to the movies. By myself. Which was an oddly empowering thing to do. Much like going to the bar and drinking by myself. I have a feeling this is going to become a regular thing…me doing things by myself. oh well. INDEPENDENCE! Anyhow – the movie was just what I needed. I knew it would make me laugh and feel good about myself (I did work on it, after all), but what really made me grin ear-to-ear was hearing the rest of the audience laugh and clap along. It turned my night of fail into a night of pre..vail…?…nope, doesn’t quite work, but I’m leaving it.

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